Friday, July 24, 2009

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

15 comments:

Carrie said...

hahahaha!!! That is hilarious!

Thanks for sharing!

Pink Haired Momma said...

Those are great! Thanks for the friday giggle!!

Jessica at Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

lol! I got a real kick out of this as I am 7 months pregnant. :)

Kristen said...

haha that makes me laugh!!

Heather - CROQZine.com - Dollarstorecrafts.com said...

Ha ha ha! Pregnant with #3 right now... college is sooooo far away.

Jessica said...

Hello,
I have been reading your lovely blog for a while now, and I must say that its my very favorite!!!

Are you hinting at something with this post? are you preggers?

Create a great day,
Jessica

Rhymes With Magic said...

Wait a minute... is this a HINT?

nikki/WhiMSy love said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I am NOT pregnant!! I repeat: I am NOT pregnant!!

Carrie Me! said...

HAHAHA! I thought the same thing, oh congrats she's expecting!

LKP said...

lol, for a second there I though Q&A #2 was actually you saying you were 2 months along (and I was thinking, that's funny cause she hasn't mentioned anything INCLUDING the slightest morning sickness in the entire almost year I've been following your blog---so of course i was COMPLETELY thinking you're MORE than just SuperMom---and i was feeling very unaccomplished & SUPER untalented)! lol. have a great weekend. hope you get to enjoy some time at the allied arts show this weekend. thanks for the laugh! =D

TeeTee said...

this post was awesome!

yyam said...

This is hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing!

gina said...

Bwahaha- the funniest part is how TRUE those answers ARE! :)

Laura Bray said...

I thought this was a hint for moment. Very funny though.

Mommie Daze said...

That's hilarious! I have a 3 month old. Hits close to home.