I'm finding, that as my kidlets grow up, there are several little awkward events that arise & I'm not sure what the proper etiquette is, or how I should proceed. So, I end up blundering along like an oaf in such a graceless way, resembling: an idiot. And I just wondered how other moms (or dads) handle these not-so-trivial experiences that I have deemed inconvenient & oh-so-uncomfortable.
The first has to do with playdates. My girls are 5 & 7. There are very few people that I feel comfortable enough having my girls spend the afternoon with----without me. I guess I was amazed last school year when Zoey had a friend come over by herself for a playdate. The mom had never met me before, yet trusted me with her child for a few hours. I think this was her 3rd or 4th child. So maybe by the time you get to that last kid you're just OVER it?
Tomorrow the girls & I are heading down the street for a playdate with a friend of Pazely's. I had to tell the mom that my hubby & I don't feel comfortable just letting our kids go solo for playdates. So, all 3 of us will be trudging along. Is that silly? It doesn't feel silly to me. But what's a nice way to let someone know that you don't feel comfortable with your child going to their house alone? My attempt at trying to express this came out sounding uber goofy. I don't want any of the parents to think I don't trust them. But I guess it boils down to this: I don't trust them. I have heard every good thing about this particular family we'll be visiting tomorrow & I know people that know them, etc. I would even trust them to have Pazely for a few hours on a playdate. But there is another equation in this: dad. Mr. WhiMSy love is a self-proclaimed over-protective dad. (I honestly fear for any boy who comes a-courtin'. At the proper age of course. Which is 40.) And we panic at the thought of ANY awful thing happening to our children. So we guard them when we can. We know it can't be forever. But when do we let go for such a seemingly "simple" thing as a playdate?
I secretly hope I'm "that" mom----you know, the cool/fun/kooky one all the neighborhood kids & my girls & their friends flock to? Because, I can totally handle their friends at MY house. But that can't happen EVERY time. My girls will want to eventually escape this nuthouse to find freedom & independence on occasion.
I seriously look forward to any advice you have. Opinions? Wisdom? Silly or helpful anecdotes?
And, in the future, you might see more "Amateur Mom" posts pop up. I love that title. One of the meanings of amateur is: "a person who engages in a study, sport, or other activity for pleasure rather than for financial benefit or professional reasons. " (And I'm CERTAINLY not getting paid for this job.) Another meaning is: "a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity." The slightly sad, yet honest truth is: I'll always be an amateur. I don't think I'll ever feel experienced enough or skilled enough in my field of mommy-work to think I have this whole parenting thing under control. It's not meant to be a negative title at all. I'm a mom because I LOVE being a mom. I just don't happen to get the benefits of the professional world. But they don't get mine either.