Thursday, September 17, 2009

Amateur Mom

Welcome to another episode of “Amateur Mom”. Today I'm revealing a pet peeve of mine. And really, it doesn't have anything to do specifically with being a mom, but I thought I’d include the subject in this series anyway.

repondez s'il vous plait

That’s French & it translates to "please respond" or "respond if you'd please" and word for word means "respond if it pleases you". You might also recognize this little acronym: RSVP.

Zoey’s 7th birthday party is in 2 days. And I have not received any RSVP’s…….The show must go on.

Unless you RSVP, how else am I gonna make sure there are enough snacks & food & punch? How else am I gonna make sure there are enough party favors for all the little kiddies? How else am I gonna know if I should set up the party in the backyard for a large group or on a simple table inside? How else am I gonna know if I can handle it on my own or if I need to call in back-up?

This is not to say I’ve never made an RSVP faux pas. But I’m just trying to spread RSVP awareness. There really should be some sort of public service announcement about it too. Flyers hung on every door. Billboards lining city streets. In fact, just replace the “Missing Child” photos on milk jugs with RSVP etiquette.

“And what IS the etiquette?”, you ask. Call. Call if you’re able to attend the event. And even call if you’re NOT able to attend. Simple. As. That. And try not to wait until the day before. I’ve been known to track people down & flat out ask, “Are you coming? Huh? Huh? Huh?” Which, from what I’ve researched, is quite acceptable to do.

RSVP’ing is a lost art.

And, honestly, when I make invitations from now on I might just omit the whole “RSVP” thing & reword it to something like: “Look, please call me as soon as you know if you’re gonna come to my party because the days go by & I’m wondering & wondering & trying to make my plans around the questionable fact if you’re coming or not but I can’t seem to finalize pretty much everything on my to-do list because I sit here waiting for you to call.” But that will take up a lot of room on the invitation & so I’m not sure if it’s gonna work.

In all fairness, RSVP also stands for “Retired and Senior Volunteer Program”. RSVP is an Australian dating site, a board game introduced in 1970, & a 2002 horror film. There are even albums & songs with the title “R.S.V.P.” A method of displaying information using a limited space is referred to as Rapid Serial Visual Presentation.

So, I can see how you’d get a little confused.

{This post is strictly good-natured sarcasm, not meant in any way to offend the friends I did invite to the par-tay. By the way, are you coming or not?}


  1. I feel your pain. Last year this time, I was blogging about the same thing...

  2. Ugh! I completely agree with you! Where is etiquette in our society?!

  3. Ugh. One my biggest pet peeves by far! It drives me crazy even more when it is our FAMILY who has such a hard time telling me if they are coming or not!

  4. after about 5 ot 6 years old, no-one EVER replies - they just assume you know they're coming! wen the kids get older and have cellphones, the mum gets completely taken out of the loop!!! you have to be a mind reader nik

    go on = u can do it!

    really special something beginning with v and something beginning with P - lost art it is

    maybe u should be a real hard-arse and only do those fabby treats you make for the ones that DO reply - that'll teach them!!!

  5. This has always been my biggest pet peeve when it comes to kids parties! Drives me insane! We live in such a casual society now that it borders on downright rudeness. Can you tell I feel a little strongly about this?

  6. I know exactly what you mean. HUGE Pet Peeve of mine! Come on people, how do we plan. Don't you think you would want me to RSVP to your party? LOL

    I started putting Regrets Only instead of RSVP and that doesn't work either. I end up with either a lot of people or just a handful. So FrUsTrAtInG!

  7. oh
    I am the same way - drives me CRAZY! How hard is it, in today's day and age to call, send an email, text, toss a comment on facebook - something, anything to let us know if you are going to grace us with your presence or not.

  8. You go girl!! It drives me nuts.
    On the first bday no one RSPV, it was mostly family and a bunch of them. Then the second year same thing. So on the #rd bday I put (if you do not RSVP your child will not get a goodie bag or meal.) They would get cake, i wasn't all mean.
    But people got the pic and I had my RSVPs 3 days b4 party. I was tired of spending 40 bucks or more on bags and no one show up to get them.
    sorry I could go on & on, on this subject.
    Hope you have a Great Party!!!

  9. So I love the way you ranted about it :)

    I too find that when people don't RSVP it can be quite irritating in the planning process of any party...

    Suggestion? Start making phone calls. Tell the moms involved that you NEED to know yesterday. Because Zoey shouldn't have to go through the same horror that Becca had on her 8th birthday. No RSVP's = not one single person came... & we didn't know that no one was coming... so we didn't plan anything else. So we ended up crying she & I... it was sadness... all over the cake.

  10. Loved your sarcasm! And your not so sarcasm!

  11. oh ya! I was there, right in your place in july! my son, turning 7 wanted his first ever birthday party with friends. I was sweating bullets thinking no one was coming and my son would be heart broken! Right up until the hour BEFORE the party they were telling me their kid was coming! I don't know if I can handle the grief again next year!

  12. I totally agree. It really peeves me too!

    I don't care if you are coming to my party or not but I was nice enough to invite you so please (damn it!) be nice enough to let me know if you are coming or not!

    BTW... I googled RSVP and it also is:
    a gay and lesbian cruise line
    a 185 mile bicylce tour
    and a magazine

    AND.... I would totally have RSVP'd and Brock and I would be coming but we weren't invited. so sad.

  13. I know exactly what you are talking about and I'm sure we will be in the same situation in less than a month.

  14. I hosted a wedding shower for my sister-in-law. Invited 45-50 people. Only about 5 people RSVP'd. So, I prepared food, favors, prizes... all the things needed for roughly 35-40 people. Only 8 people showed up. EIGHT. I was mortified for my sister-in-law.
    I learned my lesson for all the times I had not responded before. I feel your pain!

  15. HEY!! R.S.V.P is part of the Senior Corps Programs (good for you for looking that up!) and I work in the Foster Grandparent Program- which is a sister program to RSVP. :) HA! Anyways-

    so in all my party invitations I do include the following: "Please respond to me immediately. Either way. Yes or No. I need to know this so that I can properly prepare. If you don't do this- you will be taken off future party lists. Because not RSVP'ing makes you a loser. Don't be a loser. Stay cool."

    It's worked. And if it's an "adult party" where there will be no kids, I put: "Don't be a douche. Call me either way otherwise we will expect you are coming. With lots of free food and drink. Otherwise we will TP your house and maxi pad your car. Because we know where you live."

    Also works. This has also be enacted. They RSVP everytime now. :)

  16. I'm totally copying your text and putting that instead of R.S.V.P next time! ♥

  17. Can we come? My daughter LOVES birthday parties! ;)

    I feel your pain.

  18. Yeah, I hunt people down, too and ask,with "I just want to make sure there are enough party favors!"

  19. oh I agree! It is just politeness in general is lost :( How sad!

  20. I agree, way to keep it light and funny - I agree.

  21. You're so right -- it's a lost art. I just helped organize a big Girl Scout event last night. We had 25 RSVPs, but more than 60 girls showed up! Fortunately, aside from being short on glue sticks, the event was still a success!

  22. this drives me nuts, too. and next week I'll be sending out invites for my daughter's B-day. Maybe I will have to use your “Look, please call me as soon as you know if you’re gonna come to my party because the days go by & I’m wondering & wondering & trying to make my plans around the questionable fact if you’re coming or not but I can’t seem to finalize pretty much everything on my to-do list because I sit here waiting for you to call.”

  23. In the last two years I have been a hostess for at least 10 babyshowers - RSVP no-gooders are always on my bad list!!
    but never to their faces :)

  24. Wow! 23 people + me=24 people who hate it when people don't RSVP. I'm only inviting your blog readers to my next party.


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