The Mr. celebrated a birthday on Wednesday. But I didn't have the time to wish him proper happiness & such on the blog since I was too busy trying to help plan a surprise party for him.
Maybe this is just inexperience talking, but I've decided that surprise parties are not all they're cracked up to be. It's all lies & deceit & false storytelling. And then there's the guilt & shame for telling all the lies & deceptions & stories.
And why does the celebratory birthday man get extra nosy when I am devising secrets & scheming plots? He doesn't normally ask me lists of stupid questions. Why now?
It's all just so stressful: Hiding certain text messages. Answering the phone in a hushed voice. The nervous twitches. The heart palpatations. The sweaty palms. The pressure that comes with trying to act "normal". Always on the alert. Constantly thinking about what you're going to say before you say it so you don't spill any secret party beans. Exhausting late-night combat drills... No one told me it would be this way.
I thought it would simply be like this:
1. Turn out the lights.
2. Birthday man walks in.
3. Yell "Surprise!"
But that's not at all how it goes. It's more like this:
2. Head to secret party location.
3. Phone birthday man.
4. Lie again.
6. Birthday man gets suspicious. (Well, he gets MORE suspicious because he was already suspicious before.)
7. Birthday man approaches secret party location. (Finally!)
8. Birthday man tries bribing someone else to enter the dark & spooky building first.
9. A hand reaches in to flip the light on.
11. Birthday man steps into the building while slowly glancing around at everyone staring at him. (A slightly awkward moment.)
12. Birthday man announces that it was no surprise: he knew.
12. Former bets placed are now divided up.
But it was "thoughtful", he said. And, last time I checked, that's what counts. And there were balloons. That counts too.
(P.S. Oh yeah, happy birthday honey!!)
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