Friday, October 21, 2011


I've been digesting, processing, & contemplating my dad's recent visit. Taking it all in, really. I met him just 10 months ago & it was for dinner at a noisy restaurant in Seattle with gobs of other new, never-before-seen family... & my friend Tia for moral support. The next morning we met again, briefly, for a simple sit-down breakfast at his home, with his amazingly hospitable, sweet wife, & one of my new brother's... & Tia for moral support.
And that was it.
We've skyped several times between then & now, facebook messaged plenty, one or two emails, & birthday card greetings.
But a face-to-face visit was called into action. I was so nervous upon his arrival. I wanted everything to go perfectly. What should I do when he's here? What sort of ways shall I entertain him? Where shall we go? What shall we see?
And what, by the way, does one do with a new dad?? 
I soon realized that I didn't want to go anywhere, or do anything extravagant, or waste time traveling here or there. I just wanted to be at home, chilling, doing what I usually do. The more relaxing, the better.
You know, the whole "creature in their own natural environment" thing.

 I cooked meals for supper. (Which usually freaks me out when visitors come. I try to escape to restaurant dining or I opt for popping frozen things in the oven.) But we sat 'round the rectangular dining table & ate together. Homecooked for reals.
We went on a shooting adventure with friends. 
He came to church & got to hear me play piano & sing.
We went to the girls' school & ate lunch with them in the cafeteria & then outside to play at recess.
We stayed up late chatting.
We played mind teaser puzzles & Pass-the-Pigs.
We went grocery shopping.
He read stories to the girls.
We laughed about stupid stuff. And kept laughing.
He watched movies & ate popcorn & drank hot cocoa with the girls.
I got to share my art with him. 
I got to see him draw.
I go to hug him goodnight. For 3 nights in a row.
He visited me at work & then he joined me, Susan, Scott & the girls in office chairs races out on the street.

My dad wore hats & bandanas. He has tats & chucks. (That's "tattoos" & "Chuck Taylors".) He's got a big personality. And a big beard. I've got his eyes. He's loud. He's comfortable around anyone. He likes to talk. And tell his stories. He's not shy.
He's an extremely talented artist. I've always {"always", as in "for 10 months"} been envious that I only got a teensy little bit of his talent. I guess that's better than nothing. But then he went on & on about how proud he is of me. And he called me a "woman of wonder". And then he told me he wishes he had even a pinky's worth of the talent I have. Which pretty much stumped me. It was fun to know that I have part of the same creative spirit he has.

It was so funny to have this "stranger" sitting in my living room & knowing he was my dad. He shared bits of the past, of new things I didn't know & of stories I'd heard before. When I was a kid, I loved hearing my mom tell the story about how I came to be a part of their family. And when I met my birth mother about 16 years ago, I cherished hearing the stories of my birth & her heartache & decision to let me go. And, last week, as I sat with my dad, I got more pieces to my puzzle. So, yeah. I guess that's what I've been doing this last week. Just puzzling things together.


  1. Yep. Weepy & not just preggo weepy. You got me right in the ole ticker. I love this.
    You not only got your dad's eyes I think you look loads like him (in the pix I've seen on fb anyway).
    What a special time. I can't imagine what it must feel like finding other parts of yourself & knitting the whole you together. What a blessed, blessed life. Thanks so much for sharing with us Nikki. Really. x

  2. This is so sweet, Nikki. Thank you for sharing this very personal experience. It's always nice to hear that getting to know one's birth parents can be scary but still nice at the same time.

  3. Aw, Nikki, I am so glad you got to spend time with your Birth Dad just doing nothing. Sounds like it was good for both of ya!

  4. I'm glad you could spend time meeting your birth dad. He seems so proud of you :)


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