Oh. My. Cookieness.
Once upon a time I took an airplane flight. I don't remember where to exactly, but I do remember the in-flight snack. Every detail of it. Lotus Biscoff cookies. From Belgium. The crispy, yet not overwhelmingly so, biscuit. The light crumbles, the sweet dark goodness. The way my mouth wanted more.
But I also remember the sheer disappointment at finding they were only available online or by calling 1-800-I'M-A-CLOSET-COOKIE-MONSTER. And I wasn't about to do either. For starters: I'm cheap & didn't want to pay the shipping costs.
Yesterday, at Walmart of all places, I spied Lotus Biscoff cookies!!!!! In double-time, I snatched the package from the shelf, while at the same time emitting a gutteral "These cookies are so goooooood!" At this point the man next to me in the aisle pretty much thought I was nuts. Thus my status as a closet cookie monster was solidified.
The package reads: "For decades, Biscoff has been Europe's favorite cookie to enjoy with coffee. Its popularity in the U.S. spread when the crisp, delicious cookie began to be served onboard airplanes..."
Yes! Yes! That was me! A U.S. citizen! Enjoying the popular European cookie onboard an airplane!
Then it goes on to explain how passengers were "clamoring for more of these delicious cookies..."
Yes! Yes! That was me too! Clamoring for more! Well, maybe not exactly "clamoring". What's one more step above "clamoring"? Not quite "demanding" or "getting in an onboard skirmish". But definitely making it known that I, too, wished to be the bearer of extra cookies.
Seriously, when the flight attendant passed out the cookies, we passengers asked for seconds. And thirds. Who does that with the usual in-flight snack of stupid peanuts? "Excuse me? May I have another bag of these extremely dry & salt-less peanuts? No need to refill my drink. I love the way the peanuts suck up every bit of saliva in my mouth. My favorite part is when I swallow, it feels like I'm eating sand."
Wait. Hold on. The guy in seat 2D is making up some lame story about his nieces? So he can get a HANDFUL OF BISCOFF COOKIES to stuff in his carry-on & take home to "them"? The flight attendant is tossing cookies at him like it's confetti! WHAT??!?!?! I need to up my game.
I was out of control.
So you can guess my extreme delight at being reunited with these foreign little tasty treasures at Wally World, on American soil. Basically, because of all the clamoring, I don't have to pay for shipping. I will not reveal how many I consumed in just the first few hours after purchasing them. But let's just say you'd have to use a calculator....to divide...my awesomeness...from the...uh...Y-axis...& then find the equivalency of the...er...fraction...and then bisect that...into...a polygon.
OK. I ATE A LOT.