Last Thursday marked the day, one year ago, that my grandmother passed away. My little family & I currently live in grandmother's residence. Her puffy recliner still sits in the corner of the living room, in the same spot it did when she was alive. Only now it is covered with laundry to be folded. Actually, when I look around, I notice there are multiple chairs covered in laundry to be folded.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I always think.
Watching my grandmother fade away & turn into someone who was not my grandmother, changed me. Forever. I can't quite get back to the exuberant, full-of-energy, crafting-up-a-storm, create-or-die momentum I once had.
(This blog is definite evidence of that.)
You want to know what makes me feel accomplished these days? When I cook dinner for my family. It doesn't happen often.
I currently sit, laptop on lap, legs outstretched on the sofa, coughing & wheezing with "the bronchitis". It has been a doozy of a summer, with this little mama sick the whole while. I'm a busy lady, with no time for this illness stuff. For reals.
The fam & I have been devoting our time & energies to a church the Mr. officially became pastor of in April. The church is in Connell, WA, a 40-mile trip from where we live. We are presently knee-deep in renovating an exciting Kids Ministry, which we are planning on launching in August, so we make the commute quite often during the week. I get to put a different set of my creative skillz to work, & it's rather exciting watching sketches turn into reality. There's no other feeling like a dream & a vision becoming something palpable. And there's something special about being united with a group of people who share the same vision.
I have also been immersed in music, leading worship every week. What an awesome journey! Being in God's presence is an amazing thing. Although, this bronchitis bizness has been a battle. I think I have stretched myself beyond stretching. I have not had a chance to rest. Why do I feel so guilty resting? I'm at that "I can't" point. I can't. I just can't anymore. My body needs to heal. And so this is me, rambling on, visiting with you, resting. It's nice.
Sometime in the next 3 days I've got a birthday party to plan. I can tell my almost-11-year-old Pazely is getting nervous as her special day approaches, because her mommy hasn't had the usual celebratory frenzy & chaos about her that she should have right about now. Poor thing. I have schemed an outdoor party by the river. You know, so the sand & the water can do most of the entertaining. I see it's supposed to be 104 degrees that day. There may be melting party guests. I will let you know how it goes.
I hope you don't mind if I stop by more frequently to ramble & visit.
Until next time...